Loss is a Universal Experience. Everyone everywhere loses someone or something of value at some point in life. In fact, we actually deal with multiple losses of various kinds rather routinely. In a broad sense, loss may be defined as any absence of, deprivation of, removal of a person/place/thing that is a part of one’s routine. In light of this definition, experiences as great as death, divorce or significant health change make the list. At the opposite end of the spectrum, experiences seemingly as minor as being late for an appointment, missing a deadline or breaking a nail before an important date can also fit the definition. Responding appropriately to the losses of others often presents challenges that confound us. As simplistic as it might sound, your sincere presence is an invaluable gift to one experiencing loss of any kind.
In a world frequently filled with empty promises and quick fixes, the gift most often neglected is that of our presence. Taking time to listen to another person sharing his/her story opens the door for significant sharing from the heart. Setting aside time to just “be” with another person serves as an incredibly significant gift in and of itself. No words are necessary. No detailed plans are required. No well-designed strategies are mandatory in our response to others in distress. All that is necessary is the offering of our empathy, the gift of our presence.
The gift of presence is best described as empathy. Empathy is a skill that comes easier for some and may be learned and cultivated by others. While sympathy is “feeling for” another individual, empathy is “feeling with: another person. Empathy is the act of taking on the pain of another as if it were our own. It is the art of getting inside another’s skin – getting an idea of what it is like to live life from their perspective. When we give the gift of our presence in this manner, the connections we make with others can have life-long positive effects.
The next time someone in your life experiences a loss of any kind, I hope you’ll consider giving your Presence, a Gift of indefinable value. You both will be glad you did.
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
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