Hidden
in the shade of a Bradford Pear tree in the median of a busy suburban
street hangs a lovingly placed reminder of a life cut short by tragedy.
Often when the breeze stirs the wind chime to life, unaware passersby
focus their attention in the direction of the soothing musical tones,
seeking the source. On most days however, the wind chime remains still
serving as a silent memorial.
The wind chime is actually just
one of three memorials placed on or around the tree. The other two are
an intricately crafted metal cross attached to the base and an engraved
stone secured in the dirt at the bottom. I am keenly aware of their
presence because I pass by that tree every day on my training walk.
I
was introduced to this powerfully loving memorial a few years ago by
the creators, Kurt and Laura Davis. The memorial was established in
honor and memory of the oldest of their three sons, Tyler. You see,
Tyler's life is the one that was cut short by tragedy and this tangible
trio of objects serves to remind us of his presence and influence on
this earth.
I will never forget the first time I heard the story
of Tyler's death. As the Davis family shared personal and joint
perspectives of the event that completely altered their lives forever, I
found myself drawn to them in a way that I still have difficulty
articulating. I feel as if I know Tyler on some level that remains
inexplicable.
You see, on a very normal day ~ one that held no
particular significance ~ tragedy took hold of this family and community
in ways that still reverberate through the lives of all who were or
become aware of the event. It seems that on their way back from a visit
to a local restaurant, the young driver of the automobile in which Tyler
was a passenger lost control and the car wound up impacting the tree to
which I referred earlier. The passenger side absorbed the shock of of
the collision and Tyler lost his life. Teenage boys out doing what
teenage boys do ~ no one could have anticipated that particular turn of
events.
Like a bolt out of the blue, the Davis family found
themselves dealing with the unthinkable, the unwanted, the unbelievable!
To say that they were in shock is an understatement. Any effort to
describe the currents of pain that pulled them under the surface of
normalcy pales in comparison to the actual experiences. They were
devastated! Not only they, but all of those who knew Tyler and the
family! The community as a whole ~ the schools, the places of worship,
the organizations to which they belonged ~ all felt the sting of death
that fateful day. What would happen next?
The challenges faced by
this family were almost insurmountable! How do parents even BEGIN to
embrace the death of a beloved child? What steps do siblings take to
make sense of the senseless? How does a family survive such devastation?
With a faith tempered by the knowledge that they must walk through the
middle of a shrouded uncertainty ahead of them they began a journey no
one wants to take. Although their journeys were personal in nature,
they did not walk alone. They found comfort and support from a loving
and caring community that surrounded them. They looked deep within
themselves and drew upon familiar personal resiliency that enabled them
to progress through the process of mourning the death of their beloved
son and brother.
One of the things they did to openly express
their grief was to create the memorial to which I have referred. Each
year on the anniversary of Tyler's death, they go to that place to honor
and remember. And from what I know, there is much to honor and
remember. Tyler's life was a full one characterized by selfless service,
positive support for others, passion for living, laughter that was
infectious and love for family and friends that warmed the soul. The
influence that was Tyler Davis continues to this day and will continue
for eternity. Of this I have no doubt. From what I know of Tyler Davis,
he lived the truth of which C.S. Lewis spoke when he wrote, "The Present
is the Point at which Time Touches Eternity." Tyler Davis lived his
present moments to such a full extent that he will never be forgotten ~
ever!
The Davis family continues their individual and joint
journeys of mourning. Every major life event in which they are involved
carries a reminder that Tyler is not there to experience it with them ~
that they do not have the pleasure of his physical presence. And yet,
the Davis family has found reconciliation and healing. I am inspired and
encouraged every time I run into them or have a chance to visit. You
would not believe ~ well, perhaps you would ~ how vital they are to the
world around them. Their courage to speak about their experiences serves
to encourage others to talk about their grief. Their compassion frees
others to relax in the knowledge that they will find genuine comfort in
their presence. Their willingness to be present in the presence of the
devastating grief of other parents who lose children serves to shed
light in an indescribable darkness thus bringing the hope of healing.
I
did not know Tyler, but I have the privilege of knowing his parents and
brothers. For that I am deeply grateful. The person Tyler was is
directly connected to the family of which he was a part. I feel as if a
part of Tyler resides in me because the Davis family has taken some of
the interest earned in their relationship with Tyler and invested it in
my life.
This morning as I walked past the loving memorial a
gentle breeze blew beckoning me to pause. I did so and as I walked over
to the tree, traced Tyler's name with my finger, touched the cross with
my hand and ran my fingers through the musical cylinders of the chime I
was reminded that "Every Step Has a Story" and I must tell as many as I
can.
Thank you Tyler and thank you to the Davis family. You are truly an inspiration!
