The Ripple Effect! It can be as innocent and mesmerizing as watching the rings make their way toward shore after tossing a pebble into a still pond. It can also be as devastating as the waves of a tsunami created by an earthquake. The Ripple Effect is a natural law that not only operates in the physical world; it is active in the spiritual, emotional, mental and relational worlds as well. One of the ways I know this to be true lies in statistical analysis. Did you know that in our country each year, fully 1% of our population will die and that 4% of that same population will be directly affected by those deaths? As a rule, that 4% makes up immediate family members. What this analysis does not address is The Ripple Effect — the countless other people that are affected as well who dwell outside that immediate circle when death enters the lives of a family. Isn’t it amazing how far those tiny circles will travel before they are finally absorbed by the shore of the pond? As amazing as that is, I find the thousands of miles a tsunami can travel before unleashing its fury on oft times unsuspecting victims to be completely astonishing!
Once again, I have been caught in The Ripple Effect — last night in fact — and felt the waves of disbelief, sadness, empathy and confusion sweep over me creating disharmony in my world. It all happened with a phone call.
A dear friend of mine called last night — I will not disclose her name without her permission — to share some very sad and disturbing news. True to her nature, she was composed, calm and focused. She has that ability — the ability to slow down, collect her thoughts, corral her emotions and then communicate clearly and concisely the nature of bad news. On the surface, one might marvel at the apparent strength displayed without acknowledging the multiple emotional undercurrents battling for dominance in her soul. Rest assured, she is aware and told me so.
Almost seventeen years ago, on New Year’s Eve,1991, this remarkable woman suffered the tragic accidental death of her eleven year-old son. Eighteen months later, her loving husband died in his sleep! Two devastating deaths in such a short time — TWO!
I wish I could tell you her story — a story of strength, determination, vulnerability, and healing! I wish I could do justice in so doing. Alas, I think that words fail adequate description of her amazing recovery. This remarkable woman worked hard to reconcile those terrible losses and integrate the lessons learned into the fabric of her life. She ultimately remarried and has continued her passionate pursuit of life in its fullness!
Last night’s call marked the beginnings of a truly "mean time" for her and her family — a time that has initiated The Ripple Effect.
You see, she told me that her husband had not been feeling well. She took him to the doctor yesterday and the MRI revealed approximately 20 tumors in his brain. A CT Scan was scheduled for today. I anticipate an update. I am devastated — for him! For her! For their family! My heart hurts! My spirit groans!
The Ripple Effect! It has just hit you as well! Most of you do not know this wonderful couple and yet you feel the effects of the news! How can you not?
The ripples remind us that life is precious — that every day is a gift! I am forced once again to acknowledge that there are no guarantees in life — none except death, taxes and change! As much as we might like to relegate this reality to a seat nearest the back of our consciousness, it often pushes its way to the front demanding attention!
What can I do? Well, for one I can pray — pray that strength, wisdom and grace will be theirs in abundance. I can "be there" for and with them. I can listen. I can encourage. And I will! Oh, did I say that I can "be there" and "listen?" So often, being there and listening are replaced by nervous activity and meaningless prattle. It takes a lot to just "be there" for and with someone and "listen" with our ears, eyes, hearts and spirits.
I can do other things as well. I can pause and acknowledge the fragility of life — that uncertainty often rules the day. I can take the time to give freely to my family and friends. I can write a note of encouragement. I can recognize accomplishments of others. I can say "thanks" to those who make my life fuller and richer. I can do my very best to be at peace with all around me — to give my best; to work my hardest; love my deepest.
Life is precious — every day is a gift!
May I ask a favor of you tonight — two favors actually? First, please pray for this couple and their family. Second, please take the time to let those around you know how very much they mean to you — start your own positive Ripple Effect in the wake of this one. You see, we may not be able to always determine the swells or waves that we encounter in life, but we can determine what we add to the swells and how we ride the waves.
Thank you!
Peace!
Mark Hundley
Copyright 2008 Mark E. Hundley
