Mistakes! We all make them and when we do, we have many options to choose in the aftermath.
- We can work to forget them.
- We can deny them.
- We can blame them on someone else.
- We can allow ourselves to be defined by them.
- We can spend inordinate amounts of time regretting them.
- We can wallow in them.
- We can ignore them.
- We can learn from them.
- And . . . we can forgive them.
The Lakota Code of Ethics suggests the following: “All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.”
Two simple points. Two powerful truths. Two reminders of how best to address human frailty. Let’s examine them a little closer.
- All persons make mistakes – Making mistakes is part of the human experience. None of us are immune. None of us are perfect. None of us have our stuff together all the time. We mess up! We miss the mark! We overlook the obvious! We make mistakes . . . plain and simple. The key to this truth lies in our courage to embrace them. If we ever expect to grow, we must learn to embrace our mistakes. We must acknowledge and accept them. To choose otherwise is to choose self-sabotage.
- And all mistake can be forgiven – Forgiveness for mistakes is always an option. Always! The trouble with forgiveness of mistakes is that we tend to cast the first light in the wrong direction. We tend to ask about the ability to forgive others for their transgressions. We tend to question whether or not another’s egregious actions deserve absolution. No wonder we tear one another down. No wonder we destroy each other. No wonder we withhold compassion. Our focus is wrong. We must learn to forgive ourselves before we can truly forgive another. We must look deeply into our own darkness in order to truly extend mercy to another. As Carl Jung says, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”
Here is the deal . . . We must learn how to better disburse mercy, grace and forgiveness for our own darkness before attempting to deal with the darkness of others. Because remember, “All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.” This is The Outcome of Mistakes!
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
