Day One Hundred Forty-Four of 365 – Confessions of a Recovering Bapticostal: First Loves

So many voices proclaim to know the way. Most of these voices – whether they be political, ideological, sociological or educational – have some religious underpinnings at their base. It seems that the more extreme in either direction (right or left) adherents move, the more they find some religious justification for their position. Further, it seems that the more they rely on those religious justifications, the less spiritual they become. Sad . . .

I’ve been on this rock we call home for a long time and in the process of my living, I’ve fallen victim to extremes in thinking, feeling and acting in all four of the arenas mentioned in the paragraph above. When I pause to reflect on those times of extreme narrow mindedness, I experience a sense of shame. How could I have been so easily swept away from a pure spiritual core? What could have such appeal as to draw me into places of darkness so treacherous that my humanity was threatened? How could I treat people as objects to be handled, manipulated or labeled? What could cause me to choose paths that damaged my credibility? How could I ignore the sacredness of self-care?

The only answer I have is that from time to time, I have turned my back on my first loves.

There is a Native American proverb that says, “We always return to our first loves.” Therein lies my salvation.

I believe that the Native American people possessed an awareness of spiritual purity that escapes the faux sophistication of our modern world. Every time I have wandered down the trails of self-absorption, I’ve always found my way back to my first loves. On casual glance, one might think that I refer to a person or persons. Not so! No, my first loves were not housed in flesh and blood. My first loves were experiences for which words do not exist.

Peace! Tranquility! Awe! Wonder! Curiosity! Satisfaction! Simplicity! These are the first loves to which I always return. Benevolent beacons that draw me back to those things that make life, life! These are the loves implanted in my spirit during childhood. The ones untainted by often untested and unchallenged religious jargon. These are the loves whispered to my soul by the still small voice of the Spirit. These are the loves that define true Spirituality. These are the loves I desire.

Peace!

Mark E. Hundley

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