The storms of life! We’ve all faced a few in our time. If you have yet to face one, stick around! Your time is coming! None of us are immune. No “storms of life” vaccine exists.
Growing up, I was keenly aware that there was a preferred way to face life difficulties. At least in the religious circles in which I spent most of my time, there was a preferred way.
This approach involved acting, being or appearing strong – like an oak. There was an element of expressed faith among a great many adherents to the certain brand of Christianity with which I was most familiar. The basic tenet was that when life dealt a difficult hand, one had to find strength in their faith to “withstand the onslaught of the devil.” After all, that’s where all of life’s difficulties originated – the Devil. This view tended to focus on the “Roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.” The Devil was always out to get you, so watch out! As I pondered this perspective, I realized that strength of faith (by this definition) subtly forced people to seek victimization in order to “show off” their spiritual strength. Instead of truly embracing a life difficulty as simply that, a life difficulty, people were forced to look at each challenge as a personal attack from the Evil One.
It seemed that many forgot the verse that says, “the rain falls on the just and the unjust” (one could also say the hail falls on the just and the unjust). They believe that spiritual strength is best expressed by pretending to be a stout oak tree. It didn’t matter that very often in the middle of a storm, the oak would lose limbs, crack, break or succumb to the forces of the wind and fall over. No, spiritual strength was expressed in false bravado.
Later in my life after one particularly difficult “storm,” this perspective of which I had become a faithful adherent, failed me miserably. I worked hard to be the oak. I worked hard to pretend that I possessed an uncanny spiritual power that could be conjured with a few simple “praise the Lords.” I worked hard to appear unmovable. I worked hard but to no avail. The more the storm winds blew, the more I cracked and fell. I did this until one day I was freed to another perspective.
I’ll always remember the day my therapist said to me, “Mark, be a Willow. Only the flexible survive!” That simple statement turned everything around. It changed my life. It saved me!
You see, the Strength of the Willow lies in its ability to “go with the flow” and bend. Even in the strongest storms where the wind strips the Willow of its leaves, the Willow remains unbroken. Tattered, torn but unbroken. When my therapist shared that with me, I felt a tremendous burden lift. I no longer had to pretend. I could open myself to the uncertainties of life knowing that as long as I persevered, I could withstand any storm life put me through. I could struggle with purpose to make meaning out of the madness of the storm. My spirituality would be defined by a real relationship with the Creator rather than some manufactured facade of stoicism.
That short phrase became a life mantra – “Be a Willow. Only the flexible survive.” Therein lies the strength of life.
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
