Friendship is an Oasis in the middle of life that is sometimes barren, desolate and unforgiving!
Friends — true friends — help make life bearable when it appears impossible! Their intrinsic value is incalcuable! They listen to our stories; laugh at our jokes (although the humor may be barely detectable at times); hold our hands; give us hugs; tell us the truth; provide feeback; make us feel welcome (even when others might not); surprise us with small gifts that mean the world; send us cards; make us smile and laugh; cry with us; go the extra mile without being asked; cradle our heads on their shoulders when we are sad; share their possessions. You could add many other things that friends do for us — I have no doubt!
Suffice to say — Friends make life worth living!
There are at least two times when the value of friendship is most obvious (at least for me) — One, when we need them the most and they are there; and Two, when we would like to have them and they are gone.
Let me address the second instance first. How many times have you started to pick up the phone; write a letter or email; turn down a familiar street to connect with a dear friend only to realize that they are no longer here? I do that on occasion and each time it happens, a part of my heart cracks ever so slightly.
I experience that tugging — that longing to connect each time I drive into Denton, TX, and pass through the campus of UNT. My mind, heart and car are drawn to the office of my beloved friend and mentor, Byron Medler. God, I miss him! I miss his smile; his wisdom; his humor; his hugs; his love. He’s been gone eleven years now, and I still miss him!
I also experience those feelings of longing whenever I think about or visit San Antonio. Five years ago, one of my best friends died of a massive stoke while making a presentation to a group at a Gideons Convention in Georgia. He was three days older than I and had just turned 50 when he died. No longer able to actively invest in that relationship, I must now live off the interest and seek to reinvest the value derived from his friendship into others I have the privilege of knowing. I still see him in my mind and hear him in my heart.
Yes. The value of dear friends continues to pay dividends even when they are no longer here in the flesh and we are better for the experience.
The first instance of the value of friendship — friends being there when we need them the most — asserts its power in our lives often when we least expect it. I believe that true friends possess a spiritual link to us that tugs on them when we are in need. How often have you thought about a friend of yours only to have them call you "out of the blue" and in the process give you just the right word; the exact perspective; the listening ear; the honest evaluation you needed at the time? I venture to say many more times than you are aware! Amazing, isn’t it?
Over the past year, I have struggled with a decision that will be life-altering for me. As I have shared and visited with the handful (literally) of true friends with whom I have been blessed, invariably each one of them has given me some bit of advice or encouragement or direction at a time I needed it most. And . . . more often than not, they were unaware that I was in need of their gift at the time they gave it. Wow!
Garth Brooks had a song a number of years back entitled The River. It was popular the year I finished graduate school and served as an inspiration during that time. Over the past year, it has taken on deeper significance — especially in light of the crucial decision-making process in which I have been involved. The words go like this:
"Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away
‘Til what we put off ’til tomorrow has now become today.
So, don’t you sit upon the shorline and say you’re satisfied.
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide."
"I will sail my vessel Til the river runs dry.
Like a bird upon the wind These waters are my sky.
I’ll never reach my destination If I never try.
So I will sail my vessel’Til the river runs dry."
What does this song and my thoughts about friends have in common? Well for one, without their friendship, I might not have determined to "choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide!" They have often stirred my courage; stoked my fire; shifted my perspective; sharpened my resolve; given me hope; believed in all the places I will go! They have been my Oasis!
I recently heard someone suggest that we should make a list of friends whose death would totally devastate us — friends, who if they died, would leave a huge hole in our lives. He went on to suggest that once that list was made, we should take a moment to express our gratitude for their friendship and love. I have comlpeted that exercise and know that RD, MEK, DAT, JD, TC, SB and VMH (You know who you are!) are at the top of my list! Each one should be surprised if they do not hear from me by the end of this day. These are the people who have done more for me than they will ever know and I deeply love and value them.
What about you? Who are those people in your life who, if they were to suddenly disappear from the scene, would leave a gaping hole? Those friends who "get you" and value every part of your being? I challenge you to make a list of those folks and then do something to let them know how much they mean to you — TODAY! In the "mean times" of life, these people are your Oasis — they are the ones who help you "Sail your vessel" on the River of Life!
Remember! All we are guaranteed is RIGHT THIS MOMENT!
Peace!
Mark
Copyright 2008 Mark E. Hundley
