What makes the heart so vulnerable? If I refer to the physical heart – the heart that pumps blood throughout our body – then I have some very clear possibilities.
- Poor eating habits (overeating, under eating and unhealthy eating).
- Sketchy sleeping habits.
- Little or no physical exercise.
- Excesses in drinking.
- Smoking.
- Faulty stress management.
This is just a representative list of the things that can adversely affect the heart.
However I’m not talking about the physical heart here. I’m talking about the emotional center of our being. The Heart of who we are. The seat of perception. The center of motivation. The place that is so very vulnerable to the poison of pain.
The Lakota Code of Ethics says, “Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your pain will return to you.”
I find this specific part of the Code particularly interesting. In therapy, I often work with people who struggle with Heart Problems. Not physical heart problems, but problems with the Center of their being. They have been victimized by other people. Their “hearts” have been shredded by deceit, diminished by hatred, crushed by disappointment, poisoned by pain. Yes, I said “poisoned by pain.”
The source of these “heart attacks” is the pain of others. Pain when left untreated, creates a toxic base of operation. When one is consumed by pain and fails to drain it in purposefully healthy ways, the pain begins to fester. Eventually, the “undrained pain” turns into poison. When that happens, the words and actions of the infected become dangerously venomous. They say and do things that “hurt the hearts of others.”
This becomes a vicious cycle. Pain goes untreated. It festers and becomes venomous. The poison of the pain becomes a weapon against other people. When delivered either purposefully or without awareness, it constitutes a “heart attack” on the target. And finally, it returns in an attack on the perpetrator.
The Lakota tell us to “Avoid hurting the hearts of others” and do so by encouraging us to treat our personal pain. It may not be obvious but when we take care of our personal pain, we avoid hurting others and guarantee that the return of our actions is positive.
Pain Poisons only when left unattended. Hurting the hearts of others happens when unattended pain drives our actions. Pain is alleviated when we drain it in healthy ways. All are beneficiaries.
Avoid hurting the hearts of others. Treat your pain!
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
