As a former teacher of English, I believe that the words we use to describe life create visual scenarios that then serve as contexts for action. I also believe that routine examination of the words we use can help reveal some of the reasons we behave in the ways we do.
Take the difference between Moving On and Moving Forward, for instance. As a therapist, I often work with people who tell me something like, “I just can’t seem to move on with my life! I feel so stuck. It is as if I am anchored to my past!” Have you ever felt that way? Do you perhaps feel that way now?
Through the years, I have worked to eliminate self-limiting beliefs/behaviors from my life. In working at this, I have discovered that very often, taking time to examine the words/phrases I use surrounding a particularly troubling habit, belief of action actually provides keen insight. Once that insight has come, I have a better chance of altering my course.
Back to the difference between Moving On and Moving Forward. When working with people in session, I routinely ask them to tell me what they find particularly difficult about Moving On (the phrase they use that causes them trouble). The responses vary but frequently carry some belief that in order to “Move On,” they must forget something/someone of significance, pretend that their past does not matter or leave everything behind. No wonder people balk at the thought of Moving On! Who wants to forget EVERYTHING?
To me (and it may simply be a matter of semantics) Moving Forward creates a more realistic scenario to follow. You see, Moving Forward requires me to take time to examine my life. It requres me to sort through the sometimes tangled web of thoughts, actions, beliefs and relationships. When I sort through my life, I am able to eliminate those things that are no longer useful. I am able to differentiate between helpful and hurtful things in my life. I am able to assign value and in so doing, determine which things to carry with me into the next phase of my life.
Moving Forward simply means that I sort through, evaluate, assign value and determine which life lessons, memories, beliefs and habits I carry with me as I continue to live.
If Moving On is an anchor that secures me to a point in time, perhaps Moving Forward becomes the sail that moves me into new adventures! Anchors are helpful but only temporarily. They keep us from drifting aimlessly; however, in order to explore the sea, we must weigh anchor or remain in place. I for one, choose to weigh anchor, unfurl my sails and Move Forward!
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
