Sometimes when I’m really, really honest with myself I come away from that self-reflection session a tad bit ashamed. I know . . . feeling ashamed of oneself tends to indicate that an event for which one should feel that way has occurred. More often than not, we think that an egregious act has taken place – something so horrendous that the world would be shocked as a result.
As much as the Big Stuff in life rattles our collective cages, I become more irritated by the Small Stuff. Big Stuff gets the headlines, the sound bites, the viral shares. We have a tendency to focus our attention on righting the wrongs that grab the Bright Lights of Public Discourse! We fight and protest and subvert in order to impose our particular ideology, philosophy or belief system on others. The Big Stuff matters most to us!
For me . . . it’s the Small Stuff! It’s the Small Stuff that causes me to stumble. It’s the Small Stuff that trips me up! It’s the small stuff that messes with my mind! It’s the Small Stuff that wrinkles my relationships! It’s the Small Stuff that bogs me down! It’s the Small Stuff that sabotages my good intentions! It’s the Small Stuff!
Perhaps one of the reasons we focus so much attention on the Big Stuff is that it allows us to ignore the things that really get in the way of our growth as human beings. When we protest and yell and cover up and excuse and obfuscate, we deflect attention away from character flaws – our own as well as those we idolize.
What are examples of the Small Stuff that we would rather ignore than address? Here are just a few:
- Eating in an unhealthy manner.
- Refusing to engage in exercise.
- Pretending everything is ok when it’s not.
- Spending inordinate amounts of time with our face glued to the small screen.
- Avoiding reading books or articles that could help us through a difficult time.
- Choosing to shut down rather than open up.
- Believing the lies we’ve been told about who we are without challenging them.
- Giving away our personal power in order to placate the bullies in our lives.
- Ignoring the clues that self-care is needed.
These are just a few examples of the Small Stuff that get me in trouble. Let’s face it, when I convince myself to walk away from addressing and dealing with any of the above, I run the risk of making mistakes that can alter the course of my life in ways that are potentially detrimental to others as well.
Yes, the Small Stuff bugs me! It bugs me so much that I find myself motivated to do something about the Small Stuff. What will I do? As difficult as it may be; as much as I would rather ignore: as often as I would like to pretend the Small Stuff doesn’t matter, I will act. I will choose, instead, to become proactive. I will choose to deal directly with that Stuff.
In the end, not only I but the people with whom I interact will benefit!
There is a popular book entitled, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: And It’s All Small Stuff. I know that the Small Stuff the author addresses in this great book is different from the Small Stuff to which I refer. The stuff about which he writes, are things that really do get in the way of our success. The Small Stuff about which I write, is the stuff that demands attention.
I hope you know the difference and treat them accordingly.
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
