For the past few days I have been focusing on sharing information from the Nine Keys to Success – nine realities that can help us create a life of our choosing. These keys are simple statements that provide insight into life’s realities, life’s possibilities and life’s support systems. Understanding the interrelationships of these nine keys is crucial to purposeful living. Yesterday, I shared information about how Life Goes On. Today, I want to follow with thoughts on how Relationships Do Continue.
The Experience that validates the Reality that Life Goes One focuses on the continuity of relationships. Relationships Continue regardless of our desire – whether we want them to or not! The good news about this Experience is that it it one that actually offers a modicum of choice! Relationships Continue in one or a combination of three ways. The can continue in Memory, Actuality or Activity.
- Memory relationships are the kinds of relationships that live in our minds, hearts, souls, spirits and bodies – in words, pictures, songs, sensations and emotions. These memory relationships can be of people, places, events, animals or things. Memory relationships can be positive, negative or neutral in nature. The ultimate effect they have upon our present lies in the meaning we assign to them.
- Actuality relationships are best defined as ones in which our interactions with people are sporadic and spread out – we actually have a relationship with them, we just don’t see them routinely! Again, the effect they have upon us lies in the meaning we choose to give them.
- Activity relationships are just what they sound like – relationships initially defined by the frequency of physical exposure to others – people with whom we work or exercise or ride the bus/train. Apart from our immediate family or close friends, a large number of these relationships could best be defined as acquaintance relationships. As with the previous two, we determine the weight of meaning each of these relationships carries. In all fairness, sometimes co-workers carry more than an acquaintance label. Sometimes, co-workers become close friends. This is one example of how significant weight can be assigned to a specific type of relationship.
The bottom line is that we have the ability to examine and categorize our relationships as well as the ability to ascribe the level of weight or meaning each carries for us. This becomes especially important with problematic relationships. Sometimes with former spouses, former bosses/co-workers, family members or friends we have a tendency to “cut them off” or “cut them out” of our lives believing that they no longer have any influence on us. If we closely examine that assumption, we can see how that faulty belief sometimes creates difficulty. The memories associated with those relationships can often impact our current thoughts, feelings and behaviors in ways that may be either positive or negative. The power lies in our ability and willingness to explore those relationships and the experiences/lessons learned from them and make mindful choices as a result rather than allowing the memories to run amok in our lives.
There you have it! A few thoughts about how Relationships Do Continue.
The challenge for you today is to take a little time to write at least one example of each kind of relationship and briefly detail its significance to you. Making this practice a part of your routine can help you determine who needs to be in your inner circle of influence and who needs to be moved out a few rings.
Have fun!
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
