Part One -The Context of Connecting With Others
Living Outside the Box requires that we create, maintain and explore connections with those around us! We are social creatures by nature and design. Relationships drive all we do! We are reminded of this in John Donne’s familiar poem which says, “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” The Interpersonal Perspective deepens our understanding of the interdependent nature of relationships and enables us to better connect with those around us.
The inevitable continuity of life and relationships forces us to purposefully examine the quality of our connections with others. More often than not we connect with others in a non-strategic manner! We routinely allow the ebb and flow of life to determine with whom we connect and for what purposes. We often find ourselves aimlessly wandering through a maze of people, resources and organizations with little direction or intent. We become random collectors of business cards, websites and phone numbers that often turn out to be useless when situations demand that we reach out for assistance.
Taking stock of the connections we have is the first step to strengthening this particular Support System. In order to determine the extent to which our Connections With Others have been created purposefully, a brief exercise is in order. In the spaces below, write as many connections as you can think of in five minutes or less! Ready! Set! Go!
- People:
- Resources:
- Organizations:
Part Two – Using our Connections With Others in our Life Plan
The second filter through which our Dream Statement and Life Plan must pass is that of our Connections with Others. One might wonder what makes this filter so important in the process of Dream Building and Living Outside the Box. Remember, we are social creatures. We live in community with our fellow man. Often when people create good lives for themselves, others benefit greatly as a result! We find ourselves, either consciously or unconsciously, evaluating how to best access the resources around us for our purposes and how our efforts affect those around us as well. Thus running our Dream Statement and Life Plan through this filter serves two purposes:
- Our Connections with Others help us to more effectively assemble, assimilate and access the resources necessary to realize our dreams. This Filter serves to help us formulate questions, analyze needs, select resources and make decisions about our next steps.
- Our Connections with Others also allow us to measure the impact of our life directions on the lives of those with whom we interact. The impact we have on family, friends, colleagues, employees, our community and the world at large may be tied directly to our Dreams and Life Plans.
As our Dream Statement and Life Plan become more concrete, knowing how to best access the Support System represented by our Connections with Others becomes more crucial. Earlier you created a basic list of connections comprised of people, resources and organizations. Take a few moments to review that page.
- As you reflect, make note of the connections you have listed that you could easily access today if necessary.
- Continuing your review of this list, make note of any glaring holes in this Support System – connections that could be very necessary that you have not yet made a part of your life.
- On a separate piece of paper or other format, write the following statement: “I will add __________ to my connections by ______________ and will do so by _______.” An example of a complete statement is “I will add a will to my connections by making an appointment with my attorney by July 15.” See if you can complete at least two of these statements before moving on. Make this exercise a running part of what you do as you routinely examine your Connections With Others.
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
