Pain is one of the common denominators of human existence. Pain is an equalizer. Pain is not a respecter of persons. Pain on one hand, separates people and on the other, serves as a unifying force. Pain sends messages to our brains, telling us when some part of our body needs attention. Pain drains us of energy. Pain scares the resolve from our determination. Pain can be bound, pushed aside and forgotten . . . but only for a time. Pain refuses to remain buried.
As human beings, we work to avoid pain as much as possible – well, for the most part anyway. There are those among us who prefer pain to peace. How do I know this? Why, I know this from a way we tend to address it. Very often in this life, we package our pain, slap on a label indicating that it is something other than what it is and go about our business as if nothing is wrong; as if nothing bothers us at all. We are fine with this. We are certain that boxing, labeling and stuffing pain is the most expedient and effective way to deal with pain.
But . . . what if it is not? What if stuffing pain only serves to create more pain?
We package our pain in boxes and cylinders and bowls hoping that it will be content with its new home. That it will leave us alone. We store our packaged pain in dark, deep closets hoping that it will stay put. And yet, as with many “Poe-esk” subjects, our pain refuses to stay tucked away. Our pain refuses to stay buried. What then are we to do with our pain?
I can think of two, simple things that will open the door for us to manage and master our pain.
- We must purposely allow ourselves to Feel our pain. Only in feeling it are we able to name it. Only in naming it can we analyze it. Only in analyzing it can we manage it. Only in managing it can we master it.
- We must purposely allow ourselves to Befriend our pain. Pain is not the enemy. Pain tells us that something needs attention. Pain opens the door for healing and reconciliation.
When we learn to Feel and Befriend our pain, only then will we be able to unpack our pain, dispose of its packages and live more fully.
What pain have you packaged? How many boxes are stuffed in your emotional closet? In what ways have your dreams been truncated by the packaged pain in your life? How might your life be different when you allow yourself to clean out your emotional closet?
I am hopeful that you will begin proactively exploring your pain and begin to live in ways you never thought possible.
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
