Do you know folks who tend to overreact to seemingly minor or innocuous events? They seem to go from zero to 100 in a matter of seconds when “100” is the worst case scenario – a catastrophe. Another word for this reaction is “awfulizing.” The Psychology Dictionary says that awafulizing “refers to an irrational and dramatic thought pattern, characterized by the tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events, situations, or perceived threats.”
Have you ever found yourself taking that instantaneous trip from zero to 100 when a minor, negative event happens? I know that I have from time to time. When I succumb to that temptation, I find myself struggling to see anything but the worst imagined outcome. Not a lot of fun!
Over time, I have discovered a simple, four step process that works to combat the negative effects of awfulizing. The process is a series of four statements that move progressively from idea to action. I will illustrate how this process works with a sample statement that repeats in each step.
Now suppose that I go to work one day only to be told that my position is being eliminated immediately. It is entirely possible that my initial reaction would be to take that unfortunate event and say something like, “Oh great! Now I will lose everything I have because I don’t have a job anymore.” I could easily fall into an acute depression or despair. I could allow the negative to take over and pull me down an emotional and psychological hole.
I have another choice, however. I could opt to incorporate the following process:
- I Want To get another/better job. This becomes a Statement of Desire. When I state my desire to attain something different than what I have, I have made my desire known to myself and others.
- I Can get another/better job. This becomes a Statement of Ability. When I say something like this, I affirm my capacity to do what is necessary to acquire another job.
- I Will get another/better job. This becomes a Statement of Intent. When I say something like this, I put everyone on alert! I have said, “Watch me!”
- I AM getting another/better job. This becomes a Statement of Action. When I use that declaration, I can actually point to the action or actions I am undertaking in order to acquire this new job. ( For example, “I am getting that new job by participating in daily networking meetings”).
There you have it – a very simple formula to counter our tendency toward awfulizing when something goes awry. I am hopeful that you will think about giving this a shot the next time you are faced with a disappointment. When our lives appear out of control, we can always recapture a sense of stability and direction when we choose the path we take.
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
