Day forty-two of my 365 day writing challenge finds me continuing with an analysis of the wonderful children’s story, The Velveteen Rabbit by Marjorie Williams. The past two posts have focused on the process and length of time necessary to become Real. To summarize, the process requires “Becoming” and it takes a long time. It does not happen overnight or quickly. Today, I will address the first of three people for whom becoming Real is difficult.
The lead quote is this: “‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who Break Easily . . .”
People who Break Easily! What an interesting thought! Things that break easily often come with a label that says, “Fragile! Handle with care!” With this qualifying statement, we may surmise that people who Break Easily are fragile and must be handled with care. Do you know anyone like that? Do you know someone who is constantly fragile and must be handled with kid gloves? If the wise Skin Horse is correct, then a fragile person will experience great difficulty with the process of becoming Real.
I must qualify the definition of ‘fragile” for my purposes here. Fragile is relative. There are many times in life where we will find ourselves in a fragile state. When we have experienced loss, we can be fragile. When we are physically ill, we can be fragile. When we have been victimized by abuse, we can be fragile. When we experience social or financial setbacks, we can be fragile. When we are physically ill, we can be fragile. I am not referring to temporary, circumstantial fragility. In fact, when we find ourselves in a temporary fragile state of being, we often emerge stronger as a result of the choices we make in the midst of our circumstances.
The fragility to which the Skin Horse and I refer is a pervasive state of fragility. It is the state of mind and being and acting that tells the world, “Here is a person who is not able to deal with the struggles of life. They must be handled with care! ” We all know people who walk through life continuously fragile, they Break Easily as a result of their constant state.
People who Break Easily often find themselves unable to:
- Negotiate change
- Embrace uncertainty
- Accept responsibility
- Think logically
- Converse rationally
- Respond positively
- Evaluate objectively
- Serve selflessly
- Plan purposefully
Who is responsible for the creation of these fragile personalities? Many studies have been conducted through the years attempting to answer that question. The great Nature vs Nurture debate fuels many of these studies. Are people born fragile? Are they made that way as a result of life experiences? Are parents responsible for the evolution of fragile personalities? As much as we might like to find comfort or justification for personal fragility as a result of some of these studies, I propose another perspective.
What if – regardless of our nature, nurture or life experiences – we were to be able to have a say in the outcome of who we become? What if, through learning coping strategies that move us toward personal health, we were able to reduce the likelihood of becoming Fragile? I believe that we can.
Remember. The Skin Horse did not say that it is impossible for Those Who Break Easily to become Real. He said it doesn’t often happen. Big Difference! I am hopeful those who tend toward fragility will demonstrate the courage necessary to change their steps and follow the Path to Real!
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
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