During his conversation with the Velveteen Rabbit concerning the nature of becoming Real, the old and wise Skin Horse shared a third type of person for whom becoming Real is not likely to happen. What kind of person might that be? I have already analyzed the first two types mentioned by the Shabby Sage – Those Who Break Easily and Those Who Have Sharp Edges. Today, I tackle the third type not likely arrive at the destination of Realsville – Those Who Have To Be Carefully Kept!
I’m guessing that many of you (if there are many who read this) are already entertaining visions of people who fit this description. Those Who Have To Be Carefully Kept! My, my, my how those folks confound us from time to time! Families have their fair share of people who fit this bill. Schools as well! Then there are those in the corporate world who proudly carry the banner of the Carefully Kept. Politics certainly harbors many whose egos demand fealty whether or not they have earned it. Celebrities of all kinds often find themselves in this boat too! Heck! Those Who Have To Be Carefully Kept seem to emerge from every social circle in which we move. This malady is almost epidemic!
Those Who Have to Be Carefully Kept may be generally identified as people who:
- Fly off the handle frequently (a new take on “Frequent Flyers”)
- Blow up often
- Run off that the mouth routinely
- Wear their feelings on their sleeves
- Demand acquiescence
- Change their minds on a whim
- Feign hurt at the smallest slight
- Throw tantrums when they do not get their way
- Pitch Pity Parties at every opportunity
- Sulk and moan when things don’t go as they wish
- Demean others whenever possible
- Deflect criticism (even when it is constructive or deserved)
- Blame others for their mistakes
Whew! The list could go on almost ad infinitum! Suffice to say that Those Who Have To Be Carefully Kept, cause those who would be Real a great deal of difficulty!
We often find ourselves mincing our words or walking on eggshells just to keep the peace and avoid an unwanted or unmerited tirade from Those Who Have To Be Carefully Kept. Whenever we give in to these emotional bullies, we actually sacrifice our own personal “Realness.” We forget the freedom that Realness brings. We settle for a tenuous peace at the expense of the security of honesty. Truth pales in the face of the these emotional demagogues.
What’s a person to do? This might appear a bit simplistic; however I believe that it bears consideration. The simple answer is to speak and live truth in the face and presence of Those Who Have To Be Carefully Kept. The Hopi people say that “Truth does not happen, it just is.” Further, the Hopi say “it does not require many words to speak the truth.” We will never be able to convince, cajole or coerce Those Who Have To Be Carefully Kept to relinquish their need to be coddled. I believe that the answer lies in our ability to speak and live truthfully in hopes of wielding a little positive influence.
You see, Those Who Have To Be Carefully Kept have yet to learn the art of healthy self-care. When Healthy Self-Care is in the driver’s seat, we are able to absorb life’s challenges with dignity, respect and courage because we have learned to speak and live truth.
The challenge is this: Next time you are in the presence of One Who Has To Be Carefully Kept, set an intention to live and speak truth in a quiet and respectful manner. You just might find yourself leading One Who Has To Be Carefully Kept down the path to Real!
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
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