Many of you out there are Star Wars fans. Some are not. Either way, it is likely that you have heard of Yoda. Yoda is the enigmatic character who dispensed wisdom in slightly off kilter sentence structures. One of my favorite lines from the short, green sage is, “Do or Do Not! There is No Try!” I absolutely LOVE this quote! It cuts through the mental and emotional BS we and others use to avoid real responsibility and appear to be serious and busy about finding solutions to issues and challenges.
When I work with students and clients and hear them use the word, “try” when explaining their approach to a challenge, I stop and ask them if they would be interested in becoming a member of the Yoda Club. They often look at me rather quizzically and then I proceed to remind them of Yoda’s famous quote. More often than not, they nod in recognition.
I then proceed to share with them that to “Try” is to really just think about doing something. It is not doing anything at all. When I “try” to do something, I spend time, effort and energy “thinking about doing” something and never lift a finger to do anything. This subtle difference between trying and doing was pointed out to me by my mentor, Dr. Byron Medler, back in 1992. Since that time I have worked to eliminate “try” from my vocabulary. Instead I use “working at” as a replacement.
How does this work? Well if I say I am working at becoming more aware of my sarcasm, I can actually point to something I am “doing” to increase awareness. I can have others help hold me accountable. They can say to me, “So Mark, how are your efforts to become more aware of your use of sarcasm coming?” I can then honestly say, “I really haven’t done much,” or “I use this small rubber band around my wrist to pop myself every time I am tempted to use sarcasm. It causes me to stop and think before I speak.” That is one example.
On the other hand, if I said, “Well, I’m really trying to become more aware of my use of sarcasm,” then you might be tempted to give me credit for something I am really not doing at all . . . Confused? You might walk away and think, “Bless his heart. He is trying, after all!”
Here are a few situations that might create some clarity. Ready?
- We either love or we don’t.
- We either forgive or we don’t.
- We either reach out or we don’t.
- We either listen or we don’t.
- We either care or we don’t.
- We either speak or we don’t.
- We either collaborate or we don’t.
- We either tell the truth or we don’t.
- We either share or we don’t.
- We either work or we don’t.
- We either speak or we don’t.
The list could go on and on. The central thought here is that Yoda was right – We either “Do or Do Not! There is No Try!”
How about you? Wouldn’t you like to join the “Yoda Club?” I think if more of us did, we could DO a whole lot more about changing things for the better!
Peace!
Mark E. Hundley
