I recall in the first couple of months following the 9/11 attack in NYC that Collin College in Plano held a public forum/meeting to address issues and concerns in the aftermath. There were several “experts” invited to share seats on a panel to talk about responses to the.event. There was a counter-terrorism expert from UNT who had spent a large portion of his career in the FBI fighting terrorism. There was an expert in the History of the Middle East. There was an expert on Middle East Religion. There was an expert from Homeland Security. And… there was ME, the bald headed “grief guy!” I remember being a bit confused about receiving the invitation but curious enough to accept.
The room in which the public forum was held was standing room only packed! People from many different countries, religions and political ideologies were in attendance. I quickly realized that if I did not say something about grief and mourning in my opening statement, I would likely be “shut out” of the discussion. That proved to be true. My statement centered on the need and necessity for all of us to slow down, contemplate our personal/public losses, embrace the pain/fear associated with those losses and finally determine a path toward healing. I believed then and still do, that ignoring the grief associated with personal and/or corporate losses drives us to strike out at the world with blind fear, anger and confusion.
I remember feeling like a man in a bathing suit in the middle of a black tie event! The expressions that met my statements were blank and uncomprehending. Every person in the room wanted to know what to do to “get back at” and “destroy” the threat of the evil that had invaded our country. As I sat, observed and listened I realized that grief and mourning would likely never be seriously addressed or investigated in the process of dealing with the problems we face in this world.
The answer? Perhaps individuals will begin to demonstrate the personal courage it takes to face loss and grief and then heal through mourning. When that happens, the subtle influence of healing will grow and filter in between the cracks created by the division of fear, anger and retaliation. One can only hope…
Peace my friends!
