Twenty five or so years ago one of my daughter’s favorite books was Thornton the Worrier by Marjorie Sharmat. She loved to have it read to her almost every day! I must say that I grew to love the book myself and have often pondered the powerfully simple lessons contained in its pages. Perhaps I have done so because little Thornton and I have much in common — I dare say that if you read or have read the book yourself, you might identify with him as well. We all have a bit of Thornton in us.
The story follows Thornton, a young rabbit, as he goes through his daily routine — most of the time worrying about almost everything in sight. He does so until he meets an old man who worries about NOTHING! The story takes an almost predictable direction from that point forward; however, the predictability in no way diminishes the power of the message. You can probably guess that through the chance meeting of these two life travelers, each is influenced by the other and they emerge better for the experience.
Thornton begins to release his strangle hold on worry — a poorly veiled attempt to control his surroundings — and find pleasure in the present. The old man discovers that walking through life pretending to have no cares or concerns whatsoever is actually a foolhardy venture — one fraught with unnecessary risk-taking. Now obviously, the two positions reflect extremes on a continuum. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle.
Remember the song from the 1980’s — Don’t Worry, Be Happy — remember? Yeah, now it’s going through your mind, isn’t it? Thought so! Cute little song, don’t you think? Man if it were only that easy!
Daily, our world paintssends messages intent on driving worry to the very core of our being! War; terrorism; hunger; famine; the rising cost of everything in sight; natural disasters; financial uncertainty; disease; global warming; death; divorce; career insecurity! Whew! Makes you want to pull the covers over your head and stay in bed! Sometimes during election years, I think the politicians actually crank up the volume a bit on the challenges we face in an effort to jockey for the strongest position as savior of the people — and the media obliges quite willingly I might add.
It’s truly difficult to find positive news out there sometimes — news that highlights the power and determination of the human spirit in the face of challenges. I am thinking that the popular ABC show Extreme Makeover, Home Edition attracts its audience in part because it focuses on people coming together to address the "mean times" that any of us might have to face at one time or another. There is a "feel good" component to this program that is infectious. Hey! Remember the young man who was blind but found ways to tap into his love for music? Remember how he sang Brooks & Dunn’s song, Believe from the bottom of his heart? Remember? I’m thinking that tears were abundant in every home watching the show that night! It was amazing! Man, if ever there was a person who has the right to worry about life, it would be him; however, worry was not a part of his vocabulary. Perhaps a healthy respect for the power of unpredictability that life possesses — but certainly not worry!
I have been mulling this worry thing over now for a couple of weeks. When "mean times" strike, worry quickly raises its head and clamors for the driver’s seat in my life. I Don’t know about yours, but it certainly does in my life! There are times that the struggle takes on an intensity that almost short-circuits my ability to see clearly and focus on the present. This brings me to my question: Just what is The Other Side of Worry? Following are some possibilities of just what is the other side of worry.
- Wart — As in "Worry Wart!" That could be the other side of worry! We’ve all used that phrase — often in an attempt to shame self or others out of the practice of worrying. I don’t know about you, but sometimes that phrase makes me want to hold on to my worries even more, thank you! See if I will let someone tell me what to do with my worries! After all, they are my worries! So I guess this perspective carries the idea of worrying to the extreme — a little like Thornton — worrying about everything. Is that the other side of worry? Not likely!
- Wart — Nope! Don’t jump the gun! Not the same definition! Same word — different definition! This time I am using it in terms of "warting" someone else with our worrying — especially if we are worrying about them! A couple of weeks ago, my wife had a yet to be explained encounter with "blacking out" — for want of a better phrase — that turned up my worry meter! It reminded me very much of what likely happened to my first wife when she was involved in the accident that ultimately took her life almost twenty years ago. Worry pushed its way to the front of my consciousness wielding tremendous influence on my decisions and disposition. In an email exchange with perhaps my best friend in the whole world, I was brought back to a better place when he said, "Are you worrying her? You can be an intense sumbitch! Ha!" He knows me well! Yep! I can and that intensity often causes me to wart others! I read the eamail to Vanessa, laughed and apologized to her for "warting" her with my "worry." She thanked me and asked that I relax a little. When we "wart" someone with our worry, we attempt to disguise it as concern, but it’s not! Seriously! Is that the other side of worry? Nope!
- Action — "Now you’re getting somewhere," you might say, but let’s not hop on this bandwagon too quickly! Worry is a type of fear and fear typically paralyzes — causing us to remain in the middle of our worrisome situation. Taking action — any action — may appear to be the jump start we need in order to break the grip of worry on our life. While action may indeed get us going, movement without focus could land us in an even less desirable location. As long as the action we take carries a focus meant to address the worrisome situation in which we find ourselves, then we are OK. So, is action the other side of worry? That would be a qualified yes! Remember, educated guesses are generally better than blind leaps into the untested.
- Trust — What a novel thought! Trust! Could this be the opposite of worry? Perhaps so! If you conduct a Google search on the "opposite of worry," you will find some fascinating information! In fact, if you will go to http://thinkexist.com/quotations/worry you will find some wonderful tidbits of wisdom related to worry. Suffice it to say that Trust is The Other Side of Worry. Trust empowers and hopes; it believes in the abilities of self and others to find answers; trust taps dreams and broadens possibilities; it instills confidence in outcomes; it stokes the fires of creativity; trust builds lasting bonds of mutual love and respect. Yes, I believe that TRUST is The Other Side of Worry!
When life’s "mean times" come and we find ourselves tempted to worry about what we will do and how we will live in the "meantimes" — the times between what was and what will be — trust can guide us to live fully and successfully finding power and meaning in the present.
What worries cloud your mind, heart and soul today? How many minutes have you been able to add to your life by entertaining those worries? Who in your life needs your expression of trust rather than your "warting?" What will it take to shift to an attitude of trust — trust in your faith or belief system; trust in your partner or spouse to do the right thing; trust in your abilities to see clearly; trust that your actions will be focused? What will it take?
If you find yourself challenged by worry — step to The Other Side. I believe you’ll be glad you did! I know I am!
Peace
Mark Hundley
Copyright 2008 Mark E. Hundley
P.S. ~ Two other resources for dealing with worry: (1) Matthew 6:25 – 34 and (2) a wonderful article written by Martin L. Rossman, M.D. entitled "From Worry Wart to Worry Warrior!" You can read this article by going to www.healthy.net/scr/Article.asp?Id=8118
